ZAKK WYLDE Says He Knows 'Half Of The People Writing Comments' About Him On BLABBERMOUTH.NET

John Parks of Legendary Rock Interviews recently conducted an interview with Zakk Wylde (BLACK LABEL SOCIETY, OZZY OSBOURNE). A couple of excerpts from the chat follow below.

Legendary Rock Interviews: Zakk, your book, "Bringing Metal To The Children", is some hilarious shit. I was sucked in from the very beginning of the book where you and your wife, then-girlfriend Barbaranne, show up for a recording session at XXX legend Ginger Lynn's house and are confronted at the door by extraordinarily large black genitalia. So it's not a kid's book?

Zakk: [laughs] That was for my first recording. [laughs] One of my buddies actually thought that it was a children's book. He was like, "Well, Zakk, I know you're doin that children's book," and I had to tell him, "It's not a kid's book, you jackass." [laughs] Like I am Madonna or some shit.

Legendary Rock Interviews: What prompted you to put all these stories together and collectively drop the world's jaw?

Zakk: Just the overall stupidity of the music business in general, the insanity of it all. It reads just like I'm talking to you, John, like we're talking shit, as old friends who've known each other for ten years and been through all this shit. I say right in the introduction that I'd like to thank God, Jesus Christ, for giving me this life and creating this cast of characters that he's blessed me with. Really, honestly, my buddies, the people in my career, you couldn't make these people up, it's more ridiculous than "Seinfeld". My friends will say to me, "Zakk, these are just stories that actually happened to us and you're elaborating and detailing the events?" and I'm like, "Yeah, I know!!" [laughs] I wish I had made some of these things up. Sometimes my mind is blown by the shit… My friends will be like, "And then remember that time we were out and there was that hooker?" and I'm like "Woah, what?….you're kidding me." And they're like, "No, dude, that actually happened to Joe one night when we were all out drinking at the Irish pub in Jersey." It was after a few hundred exchanges of "no, I'm not joking" that I decided we had to put it all down in a book. It really is all the truth and everybody I talk to — whether it's my brother in-law or my manager or anyone — they all have these stories and most of them are mind-blowing. I say in the book that the one thing about the music business is that there is no rulebook. It's not like the NFL or something where there's four downs to get ten yards or baseball where it's three strikes and you're out. There are rules. There are no rules in the entertainment business. It's always been that way, going back to like Peter Grant and LED ZEPPELIN. They'd be telling him that they'd keep 90 cents on the dollar and he'd get ten cents and he was like, "No, you know what, it's the other way around, we get 90 cents and you get a dime." They told him he was breaking the rules and they had ten other bands and he said they could keep those ten pissant bands 'cause he had oneLED ZEPPELIN. He said, "You'll make more money on our dime per show than you will with all those other little crap bands combined." This biz makes the rules up as the game happens and people like him can and do change the rules or create them as they go. It's a crazy, unpredictable world.

Legendary Rock Interviews: It's cool that you brought everyone in your life along for the ride in these stories, even your family. Was there ever a concern that you were being too honest?

Zakk: No, because first and foremost it's mostly all just comedy and taking the piss out of ourselves anyway. Like whenever I read that Blabbermouth stuff, it just cracks us up because I actually know half of the people writing comments on there. People are like, "Zakk, that doesn't bother you??" and I'm like "No, because I know that's Joe on there and John's writing some of that and that's Andy on there and on and on……That's the mellow stuff, you should see what they really say when they're going off!!" [laughs] My bandmates in BLACK LABEL are just ruthless. Everyone's always breaking everyone else's balls all the time, but it's all fun; no one gets out of line because everybody's always laughing their balls off. Man, talk about taking the piss out of me, that Zakk Wylde roast, they were really taking the piss outta me about the booze and the whole nine yards. I know a lotta guys where they would have been like, "OK, now have fun, but no matter what you do, don't take any shots at so-and-so about their past with the drugs or the blah blah" and it's always, like, "Well, why not, isn't that the point?" And people are like, "Well, just be cool, he's very sensitive about this or that," and it's again, like, "WHY?? It's true, it's funny and it happened." In my band, we are always taking each other down and laughing our asses off. In this business, it is an absolute must. I know guys in this biz who will not sign pictures of themselves that were taken during the big poofy hair phase and it just cracks me up. [laughs] Are you kidding me? It happened, you might as well just embrace it as part of your past or at least laugh at it. Seriously, if you can't find a way to poke fun at your high school yearbook photos, there's something wrong. Whatever. It's like Ozzy lookin' at his old '70s stuff with the jackets and the bell-bottoms — he hates it, but he at least can make fun of himself and laugh at it. He's like, "God, I look fuckin stupid," and me, I'm all about the '70s, so personally I think that shit looks cool as hell. I'm telling him, "Oz, you look fuckin awesome". He's like, "I look like a jackass, get that thing away from me." [laughs] You have to have a sense of humor about yourself in this line of work and be able to take some shit with a smile.

Legendary Rock Interviews: Have you heard any of the criticisms directed towards people who write these books about times in their lives when they were partying so hard it's difficult for people to believe they remember it all?

Zakk: No, 'cause everyone who knows me knows that I can still remember what went down last night. [laughs] If you and I go out and get absolutely annihilated, I swear to you I will remember every moment of the madness. No matter how hammered we get, I will remind you of how you were out on the floor whipping your schlong out and dancing with old ladies. I will tell you about how you drank a pint from the tap or how you told me that the Heineken tastes the same warm as it does cold and how we all laughed 'cause you were really drinking piss. It will be memorable, trust me, and nobody will get hurt and everyone has a good time but I will remember every nasty detail even if we are beyond bliztkrieged. I remember talking with Alice Cooper where he told me that there were entire records and tours that would pass that he just did not remember. I told him pretty much every record we've ever made we were drinking and having a good time but I never got so hammered that I don't remember creating the record. [laughs] Dude, I mean pretty much every album I did with Oz, we were drinking, but never wasted writing or recording the stuff, it just doesn't allow you to get much done in the studio if you are. I mean, if you get towards the end of the night's sessions and you're starting to get hammered and the takes aren't tight enough and you're doing take after take, eventually you reach the point of diminishing returns and it's best to come back fresh in the morning. We'd wake up and listen to the good stuff in the morning and see what we needed to do; that's how we always worked. That's how we always made records; it was never like I got so blitzkrieged that I couldn't remember entire stretches of time. People will say, "Well, do you think your stuff is better now than it was then when you were all fucked up?" and I'll be like, "No, I think it's the same because I wasn't wasted during the process back then and I practiced then like I practice now." I just don't know what to say to people who think that now I don't drink beer so therefore I can play better. I mean, of course, obviously if you're too hammered and you're onstage, then you're just shit, but there's a difference between being onstage and having a glow and being onstage completely lit and off your balls wasted. It's one thing if you're just hanging out at an open mic or a jam at a bar but it's a whole different story to be fucking up your own shows.

Read the entire interview from Legendary Rock Interviews.